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                吵架

                閱讀:437 次 作者:心如止水 來源:問道文學 發布日期:2019-05-23 21:04:00
                基本介紹:

                  吵架是最平常不過得事情,可以說沒有人沒跟別人吵過架。只是每個人吵架的方式和激烈程度不一樣。吵架看久了,倒也明白了不少道理。有些事情可能因為吵架得到平息和解決,甚至是“不吵不相識”。而大多數的吵架,讓人與人之間平添更多怨恨,甚至因為吵架演變成為敵人。吵架也許是最為另類的一種溝通,只是這種溝通的效果往往總是朝著人們預期的反方向發展。不過你要是以平常心觀察人的吵架,或許你對生活會有更多的感悟。

                  有些人吵架,面帶著冷笑,說話和風細語,吐出的只有當事人才明白其中冷暖的“溢美“之詞,什么”你能,你有手腕,你前途無量,你大氣,你從來不占別人的便宜,你牛,你有錢,你是正人君子,你靚,你身材好,你從來上別人的床“等等,談笑間把對方打敗于無形。這種人一般有點文化層次,大部分是同事或同學或朋友或鄰里,大部分是礙于面子不愿大吵大鬧,或是一方握住了另一方的短處礙于某些原因又不便公開,只有通過這種方式進行影射。雖然這種吵架有些冷靜甚至有些藝術,但總是讓人感到吵得有些曖昧。

                  有些吵架是單方面進行,一方對另一方高聲斷喝并喋喋不休,而另一方默默無語不予反駁甚至還面帶微笑不停點著頭,仿佛是對這種吵架方式默默的認可。這種吵架的方式一般有一方處于極度強勢而另一方處于極度弱勢的低位。強勢者多為單位領導或家庭經濟支柱或掌握別人的短處者或對方有求于他者,而弱者多為員工、家庭主婦、情侶、朋友、同事、有求于人者。強者一般得理不饒人或者強詞奪理,對著弱者口水噴噴,吵到動情處時手舞足蹈、眉飛色舞,全然不顧另一方的感受。這種吵架到了后來,往往以弱者默默承受,強者累了并感到索然無味時休止。但這類人吵架多半因為弱者的某種需要而“不計前嫌”,不久雙方又不得不在一起工作或生活和平相處,某些意義上最后體現的倒是強者的無奈和弱者的堅韌。

                  有些吵架恰如夏天的雷暴,來得快去的更快。這類人吵架偶發的事件是吵架的導火索,一旦點著了就像引爆的鞭炮劈里啪啦響了起來。或者一句話不投機或者是一個眼神或者一個表情或者一個不經意的動作并對方誤解或對對方有一點點小小影響,立即招來一方的咆哮,另一方不甘示弱馬上河東獅吼。在短暫而激烈的劈里啪啦的吵鬧中,雙方很快明白了吵架的理虧和無味,立刻噤若寒蟬無趣停止了吵鬧。有時明白事理的一方還趕快賠禮道歉,搞得另一方茫然失措趕緊陪個不是,握手言和大有相見恨晚之勢。這類人一般是公共場所的陌路人,本來他們沒有什么厲害沖突,可能是當時的心境對對方產生了誤解,他們的吵架可能更多的是人類一種莫名的發泄。

                  有一種可怕的吵架是針尖對麥芒,置于對方于死地,他們吵得雞飛狗跳,吵得天昏地暗,甚至血肉橫飛。這類人一般是夫妻、是親人、是摯友、是同事、是合伙人,他們原本有很親密的關系和很深的感情,有一天終于因為利益或感情的原因反面為仇,他們彼此相互揭對方的傷疤揭露對方的污點,欲置對方于死地而后快。他們的吵架導致了家庭的離散、親情友情破裂、企業的倒閉,他們的極端行為對社會對自己都造成了巨大的代價。這類人吵架其實就是一種愛恨轉換的極端游戲,他們總是說“愛的越深恨得越深”,其實他們根本不懂愛,心里更多的只是恨。

                  不管你為情而吵,還是為了權而吵,不管你是為了利而吵,還是為了名而吵,甚至你為了無聊而吵,為了刺激而吵,我想你都是為了需求心理上的一種慰藉。吵完之后,我們發現傷害了傷害了也別人自己,吵架人在吵完后大都在默默的為自己的傷口舔血,為自己的沖動付出代價而后悔,慰藉之感蕩然無存。既然吵架人為這種所謂的溝通付出了代價,那何不在吵架前冷靜的思考,尋找一個比較溫和的有效的溝通方式,也許很多事情并不像我們想象的那樣。

                  退一步海闊天空,有什么值得你吵的!

                標簽:雜文
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